Is Physical Violence necessary for Dehumanization?
By: Gina Tarsi
CC: ragia elkhashab via behance
Dehumanization is not limited to physical violence. Fear and distress are two emotions that a victim of violence feels. But these emotions are not specific to physical violence, sufferers of verbal abuse also experience the same pain. Both physical and mental violence share a common thread. In physical and mental violence a threatening environment is created where the victim feels less than human.
Mental violence does not leave physical scars, but not all damage to a person is seen. When verbal abuse occurs it will begin to take a negative toll on the victim. Eventually words will sink in, and the person getting called ugly, fat, weird, or annoying will begin to believe these ¨labels¨ are who they are. Seeing a bruise or scar isn’t necessary in the process of being dehumanized; being abused isn’t limited to physical scars. Recovery for verbal abuse isn’t as simple as waiting for a bruise to go away, or wearing a cast. A recovery option for verbal abuse may be counseling. But even with professional help words resurface easily, and the memory of verbal abuse never goes away.
Some may argue that dehumanization must happen on a physical level. But violence is not always what makes the person feel less human. A person could have violence used against them, but that doesn’t immediately mean the person receiving the violence feels dehumanized. When violence is used the abuser may not be silent, during physical violence mental violence could be used as well; the two can go hand in hand.
Its very well written and has many great points. The final paragraph was a bit hard to understand.
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I like the way you mentioned that words don’t leave physical marks but they hurt. I feel as if the main points of the story are just being repeated over & over again. I wish there could’ve been some research or statistics perhaps like: teen depression charts, low self esteem statistics, or any type of bullying. Counterarguments in the beginning of your paragraphs could’ve given great emphasis to your main statement as to how physical aren’t the only thing that affects people. Overall, your point is great & this piece can definitely go further.
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the comment above belongs to: Nathalie L. Nava/ 5th period
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I feel like you could expand further on your diction in order to avoid repetition and include facts or some sort of statistics or maybe even psychological facts in order to further prove your side of the argument and make it harder to argue against. Also if you elaborated further on your counterarguments to truly make your essay a stronger one, this could be a great piece of emotional and verbal abuse awareness.
-Sam M. 6th period
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You do make a strong point but you need to elaborate further. Maybe if you were to bring in a study you would capture the minds of allot more readers. I don’t think you should end the essay in “the two go hand in hand”. Maybe bring in something more sentimental to keep the reader thinking even after they have finished reading. “But these emotions… physical violence,” should be added onto the end of the sentence prior and “sufferers… same pain.” Should be a sentence all on its own. Having made these changes I think that this essay is definitely a great one. Damian Sambrano, 6th
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I completely agree with your argument. Your ideas were stated clearly. You had an incredible hook in your introduction paragraph. The picture was able to appeal to the eyes to keep the reader interested. The essay overall was great, but the only thing is that I feel as if it was just a tad bit empty. A piece of evidence you could have used is the countries and governments out there that are suppressing the voice of their people and therefore dehumanizing them, such as the people of North Korea.
Kim Jong Un is a bad man. he doesn’t pee or poop, like what kind of person does that. And he likes the song fireworks by katy perry, like who does that right??
Anyways good Essay overall! Keep writing well.
-Ealton Barcelona 6th
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I like the formatting. You should, however add in some statistics or link your research. Other than that, everything else was really good.
Natalie Merrida-3rd period.
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You have a nice hook by stating that mental abuse can hurt just as physical abuse does. It is also very good that you put in some solution to the problem by suggesting counseling. Perhaps you should detail your evidence and put more depth in the comparison.
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Javonna Holmes/ 5th Period
Love the essay… absolutely love it. I feel like it could reach much more people if you were to expand more. You could add some real life situations or some pathos. The essay was amazing. Keep it up!
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You made a lot of valid points throughout the essay and stayed on track with your opinion. There was a great deal of pathos used and although they were effective, in order to create a solid argument you must also include statistics and credit your source. Doing so will notify the reader that you are well informed on the subject; therefore, your opinion stands firm. Also counter your argument and bring in more evidence to that makes your side strong and the counter argument look weak. You have a nice outline and the essay flows, just take these things into consideration in order to strengthen your argument.
– Monica Banda 7th
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Andrew Period 7
I like the argument a lot, the way you explained the different types of violence was well done and everything, but you’re missing something crucial fro your argument, Evidence. You have to have concrete, real-world actions or events that help prove your side of the argument. As you talk about how verbal abuse is way of being violent, you could of used an example of someone who got cyber bullied and hurt themselves from it. Evidence is crucial and you need to implement that into your argument. Other than that, the essay was awesome, keep up the good work!
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Great hook in your introduction! Great essay over all! There was a good amount of pathos. I like your argument too. Though I feel you should add evidence. For example you could’ve used cyberbullying, how there’s a lot of dehumanization going on in social media. Good grammar by the way!
Angie Villanueva, 6th period
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To be honest, I think mental violence is worse than physical violence. As you stated that physical violence can be recovered, but abusive language stays with you permanently. I heard this somewhere, not too sure, but when a person calls someone ugly, it harms the individual mentally, and then when someone else calls the individual instead, the individual still have that mindset of being ugly. The advent of social media and and smart phones reduce people’s privacy. This led to people seeking approval, and in some cases finding rejection, digitally. Indeed it is very hard to recover from such abuse.
Your evidence and claim supports your thesis. You could have use counterarguments and evidence such as cyber bullying, low-self esteem victims, and child abuse ( through the use of verbal abuse).
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Love how you added the picture to bring attention to your article, also you stated your argument clearly and sufficiently, But you lack in evidence supporting your claim, without it, you would have look like your just rambling about some nonsense that may or may not be true, If you added statistics and numbers, that would have strengthen your essay.
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Great use of your own ideas. Your claims on mental and physical violence was concrete. However be sure when arguing a point to go into detail of what you are talking about; make it plain. Also, when arguing a point include examples because they allow the reader to better relate to your argument. Pathos, an appeal to the emotions of the audience, would have been a perfect strategy due to the fact that everyone in their lifetime has been verbally or mentally scared. A simple rhetorical question such as, “Have you ever been talked down on? If so how did you feel afterward?” would have been a nice additive. When writing ALWAYS keep the audience in mind and ask yourself ” How would this affect my readers?” it will make you a better writer, especially in argumentative because your main goal is to get the audience on your side and see your point of view. And be sure the sentences and your thoughts flow. Do not make it choppy it makes it hard for the reader to follow your thoughts. BUT GREAT CLAIMS THOUGH !
Shardae Douglas
7th Period
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You have a strong idea; however, you lack strong evidence in order to support your idea. Without evidence your argument is limited. By adding some cases of people being hurt by words you will add a stronger support for your point of view and it will also add pathos. I feel that by adding real life examples people will be able to relate therefore bringing more of an emotional appeal.
Brenda Loredo- 7th period
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Great hook in your introduction! However be sure when arguing a point to go into detail of what you are talking about; make it plain. Also, when arguing a point include examples because they allow the reader to better relate to your argument. Pathos, an appeal to the emotions of the audience, would have been a perfect strategy due to the fact that everyone in their lifetime has been verbally or mentally scared. You also lacked evidence supporting your claim, without it, you would have look like your just rambling about some nonsense that may or may not be true, Thus, you should, however add in some statistics or link your research. Other than that, everything else was really good.
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Really good essay, and commentary; however, bring in some quotes and facts from credible sources, and add in analyzation of the evidence to strengthen your argument.
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The above comment is by Vivek Patel – 4th period Ms. Stenger
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