Violence as a product of a person’s environment
Violent behavior and the use of violence is a product of a person’s environment. People who are constantly exposed to violence start to become conditioned to it. In return they become violent themselves. As stated in the article Bad to the Bone: Are Humans Naturally Aggressive? , “Humans who live through real childhood trauma and social stress are highly violent and have trouble controlling their behaviors as adults”. This statement validates the idea that violence is a product of one’s environment. Because humans experience highly violent and stressful situations as a child, they grow up to mirror that violent behavior as an adult. In addition to violence, unstable environments can lead to crime as well. The article Nature, Nurture and Violence “But crime statistics seem to indicate that communities that lack stable family units produce more crime- particularly violent crime”. An unstable family unit is unable to provide their child with moral teaching. If a person is not taught the difference between right and wrong, they are set up for a criminal future. Again, criminal actions point back to product of one’s environment.
It is often thought that violence is biological and that humans are violent by nature. However, that idea is refuted in the article The Evolution of Human Aggression. The text states “Evolution didn’t shape us to be violent, or peaceful, it shaped us to respond flexibly, adaptively, to different circumstances, and to risk violence when it made adaptive sense to do so”. Violence is not the “go to” action/reaction of humans. Humans are not naturally violent. Violence is only brought out when it makes “adaptive” sense to do so. When violence seen as necessary depends on the person. Depending the environment where the person was raised, they may see the need for violence more often than others.
The image (above) visually displays the concept of violence as a product of one’s environment. Violence truly does lead to violence. As stated in The Evolution of Human Aggression “Violence comes down to the complexity of the emotion driving it”. If a person is constantly experiencing violence, they will use violence in return because of the angry, revengeful feelings that have built up inside of them.
~ Lauryn W.
The essay has a very understandable position; However, when taking quotes from articles its best to keep them short enough to get the point through.
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Although you make a good claim, humans can be naturally violent due to mental disabilities and/or disorders. Every aspect of a human’s life should be taken into consideration.
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Javonna Holmes/ 5th Period
The purpose of this essay was very good. It was very quote filled, but not very expanded afterwards. There was not very much to keep the reader’s attention, but the essay was very good.
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Your essay is great! Might I suggest and example? Talk about war veterans because this uses ethos and pathos. War veterans tend to have emotional instabilities and sometimes violences because of the environment they were placed in. Not only could the audience emotionally relate, but they can see this is an undeniable fact that could strengthen your paper.
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Great argument! To further develop a stronger argument I would encourage you to use some examples. These examples could vary depending on the aspect you want to take. You could consider the topic of bullying and include studies in which the people who bully others (the agressor) were bullied when they were younger by other people.
Brenda Loredo- 7th period
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Great use of evidence in this essay. When quoting though, try to do it in 5 words or less, so the essay doesn’t become something that’s not yours. You want the essay to be your thoughts and opinions backed by others, not the other way around.
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Matthew Crews
6th Period
Well written essay. try to keep your quotes to 7 words or less; you don’t want them to take up multiple sentences in your body paragraphs. your conclusion could have been a smudge better but it wasn’t bad. also when making your side of the argument you think about everything that could prove your argument wrong and take that into consideration.
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Ooooh nice! This is a very well written essay. While it may seem that the counterargument is weak, it didnt need to be explained because the explanation has been discredited by another source, one that supports your side. All in all, good evidence; however, while your evidence may be good, you lacked sufficient research to prove the evidence you used to prove your argument (so basically, you need research of real life happenings to prove your theoretical evidence, which in turn supports your argument). Lastly, when integrating quotes, try using less words (as stated by my fellow classmates above). You can avoid total “quoting” by paraphrasing parts of the source.
Mark Returan: 7th Period
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