Self Defense… Justified?
Self defense with the use of violence is rarely justified. When being put in a situation, where one must make the choice to fight back in a violent manner, the person must make a choice. If an adult were to be put in a situation where they were acting out in an aggressive manner, the adult runs the risk of being charged with a felony crime such as assault. If a minor chooses to fight back physically in a school setting the minor could face criminal charges, suspension or even something as severe as expulsion from school. Compared to if the adult would have taken a step back and reacted in a more rational way. Same goes for the minor. Some may believe that acting out in a violent manner is acceptable as long as it is for the purpose of self defense. This is incorrect. There are consequences for all acts of violence whether justified or not justified.
Although the situation may be extremely severe and tempting in that it causes one to want to fight back with the use of violence, there are better ways respond. However a person can choose to use their words to engage someone in a debate about the situation. A person can walk away from a situation that presents itself as dangerous. One could also seek assistance from someone such as a higher authority, the police, school officials, etc. If one chooses to fight back with violence the outcome usually doesn’t turn out well. Furthermore, if a child is being bullied at school and attempts to bully back, the situation never ends. This situation just continues until someone gets seriously hurt. It is better to seek assistance from someone else.
In the article Nonviolence: An Introduction by Thomas Weber and Robert J Burrowes wrote ” At first glance violence may appear to be a superior technique for resolving conflicts and achieving desired ends… Nonviolence is more likely to produce a constructive outcome rather than a deconstructive one.” Although, violence seems like the most effective solution at the time, it is not. For example, if someone were to look back into to history and compare Martin Luther King Jr to Malcolm X, each man wanted equality for black people. However, you can see how non violent tactics were more beneficial. Martin Luther King, Jr believed in non violent protests across the country which helped eliminate segregation and allow black people to vote. Malcolm X had these same beliefs, but he believed in “by any means necessary,” meaning he approved and promoted violence for his outcome. He was not successful in his efforts and more people died as a result of his strategies.
Violence will produce negative outcomes and this has been proven time and time again in history. Some believe that if their life is at stake, a person should fight back with violence. From a moral perspective it is a sin to commit murder against another person. From a judicial perspective it is against the law to kill another person. It may be difficult to prove to a person that you were justified in your retaliation of violence against another person.
Alexis Green
I think your argument was very planned out. You used some background information to hook your reader, stated your position in your theses, provided evidence to prove both your claims and thesis, and you concluded your essay extremely well. Very good job!!
Corinne Hopkins, 6th Period
LikeLike
I like how you used an adult and teen in your beginning example. Yes, some people have the opportunity to stop a fight with words but some cannot either because they have no time to maybe a surprise attack or even other situations but I liked how your argument played out.
LikeLike
You’ve got a nice essay, you argue and defend your stance. I believe you can add more logical appeal, which are basically facts. You should also include more counter arguments within your essay, then “spank” the counter argument to prove your point. All of these things should help strengthen your essay.
– Khoamartin 5th
LikeLike
I firmly Believe that self defense is a right that ANYBODY should be able to use in the RIGHT circumstance. with that being said, I feel as though that i didn’t quite get your stance in the discussion. Sure you brought up Malcolm X and explain his beliefs but you never clearly stated(at least to me) what your stance was on the matter. (You only say that “there are better ways to act better”)
LikeLike
I thought it was very clever to clearly state that acting in violence has consequences for all ages. It was also a good idea that you had your problem and noted different solutions to solve it. You made your argument logical and used real life examples to help make your essay more believable and relatable.
LikeLike
This essay was straight forward and well supported. I liked the comparison of the adult and minor consequence, stating that both were negative and could be prevented with an alternative to violence. Great job sourcing where you got your information from. The ethos and logos strategies make for a stronger argument. The examples of violence versus nonviolence, MLK versus Malcom X, strengthened your argument as well. Try to provide more clear examples such as those. Another thing I suggest is breaking your essay up into paragraphs for easier reading.
– Monica Banda 7th
LikeLike
Javonna Holmes/ 5th Period
I loved it. It was clear, concise, and to the point. You hit all the necessary points. Only thing i would say is that your conclusion could be a little stronger, but overall it was a fantastic essay.
Excellent!
LikeLike
Your piece was well written altogether! However, I noticed a few mistakes here and there. There was alot of grammatical errors throughout the argument, and led to me getting distracted from the actual essay. Also, you lacked citations, which is necessary for you to have Ethos, or credibility. On the otherside, your topics were well developed and was well written. wish you the best of luck in your writing career.
LikeLike
Very well written essay. The only thing I would have changed, is that I would have brought in the completely other side of your argument and disprove how any situation, even if you are being attacked, you can call for help and not have a need to resort to violent actions. In saying that, it seems to me like you might need to rephrase your question, as it is near impossible to convince readers that there is absolutely no situation to resort to violence. This is due to major issues in the rising world of crime today such as rape, gang actions, and civilian attacks, which, if an innocent civilian is trapped in, means that somebody in the vicinity is going to be harmed; Whether it be the civilian or the criminal who gets hurt is up to who is allowed to resort to violence, most people would choose the innocent civilian to be able to use violence to protect themselves. Overall, well written essay, just wanted to leave some food for thought.
LikeLike
Excellent Essay. But you are missing a vital source which absolutely wins over your audience towards your favor. You need a strong counterargument in order to disprove their claims attacking your’s. Your links between the evidence provided and you claims absolutely build a brick wall for your side of the argument. These uses of examples can really win over your audience and heavily persuade them into joining your side. Well written essay, and it really engaged me into your writing.
LikeLike
I liked how you written about a really good argument that you can argue about. I would have changed a little bit of your thesis statement into a bit more appealing to the audience. I would also change a little bit of your argument by adding more evidence and more examples about violence. I would also support my counterargument with more examples and evidence to make the audience a bit more emotional.
LikeLike
Overall, This essay is very good. You really put a good amount of effort into it and it not only showed in your writing, it also made me thing twice about the side I disagreed on. I would like to say this though. I think your essay can be improved if you have more from the other side of the argument (a reason from the opposing side and counter it). I believe this will make your essay even better than before.
-Charles 3rd
LikeLike
Good job , very straight forward some mistakes but a very well written essay you had a great hook provided evidence and believable
LikeLike
I think you might need to add maybe pathos in yor argument to give it and emotional appeal. Your essay was well organized and I liked how you brought up a scenario then disapproved it with different facts and reasoning.
LikeLike
Your essay was well put together although I believe your introductory paragraph should not conclude questions, but should conclude more statements. You also had some good evidence that helped represent your sentence statements and structure.
LikeLike
Well thought out essay. I liked how yo brought up some examples that were well known throughout history. You could have added what you thought would have been the opposers best argument and find ways to disapprove it even more, making your argument more aprroved. Otherwise, great essay!
-Juan Quiroz-Guerra 4th period
LikeLike
Your essay was well set up although I believe the introductory paragraph should not conclude question but conclude more statements to help persuade your readers. You also had enough evidence to back up your statements and beliefs which made the essay way more understandable as to why using self defense is important.
LikeLike
Your title made me believe that you were going to speak about physical violence in self defense was justified, rather than opposing it. Other than that, great job on stating your belief and great way of listing other ways that someone can approach a situation. Makes your essay more persuasive. good job!
LikeLike
Michelle Phung (1st period)
LikeLike
You do an amazing job of stating a clear and concise statement in the beginning. Your examples tie back to your claims tremendously. However, I do agree with Conner that you could have included the other side of the argument to demonstrate an example to the reader as well as make your argument stronger. Other than that, this is a very well written essay. Fantastic job!
-Alexis G. 7th p.
LikeLike
nice job but include more of a counter argument
LikeLike