Is it justified to use physical force against physical violence?
By: E. Nguyen
Violence is justified to use against violence because, on occasion, there are no other ways handle violent people. In the 1800s, President Thomas Jefferson stated that “the United States does not negotiate with terrorists” when the Barbary Pirates demanded a ransom. Historically, people believed that physical violence should be used against physically violent terrorists.
Depending on the situation, violent actions are more effective than verbal communication. Sometimes, you have to make the situation worse before it can get better. Bullying is a great example of this. Although some suggest that contacting a trusted adult is necessary to stop bullying, I believe that you need to fight the bully back with violence and show the bully how it feels to be treated that way.
Violence is justified to use against violence because people need to protect themselves, their families, and their beliefs. A common argument against this position is that violence leads to the lost of lives and the destruction of families, societies, and environments from war. But, violence has to occur in order to protect yourself, your families, and beliefs. For example, during World War Two, Americans stood up and fought against Germany and Japan to prevent unjustified violence in concentration camps and the deaths of innocent civilians.
Thus, using physical force is not wrong to use against physical violence when justified or protecting innocent people.
How does “not negotiating” with terrorists indicate violence against them? I think you meaning is implied, but not stated.
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Beatriz, 7th period
Your argument was concise and well written, good job. Although your evidence proved and stated your argument very clearly, I do believe you should have inputted your own opinion in your own words. Overall it was very good keep it up.
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Overall you defended your argument, but you did not bring up the other side of the argument such as using peace instead of just using violence. If you want it to truly be an argumentative essay, you should acknowledge the other side of the argument to truly present how your claim is correct. However, if this was a persuasive essay, then you did right on not including the other side. Also, the last sentence of your first paragraph threw me off for a loop. Was your example that proved your sentence correct the previously stated Thomas Jefferson or did you have no evidence to support the sentence? If there was no evidence, please include some in order to make your essay stronger. Please do not be discouraged (that is, if you are) about your essay though, your essay was good but it just needs tweaking.
-Sam M. 6th period
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Another way of resolving conflict should be presented, although you defended your stand on the issue. You should also elaborate more on how your examples defend your stand, instead of just using an example and explaining it in one sentence, which usually is not enough to illustrate how that example fits a situation.
-Carl Dumlao 6th
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This was a good argument, and I personally agree with your position, but the essay needs a few minor improvements. In the closing paragraph, there is one phrase that seems like it is repeated; “yourself, your families, and your beliefs”. Maybe you should try using the example of Americans during WWII in a body paragraph and using the whole body paragraph to discuss it instead of introducing it halfway through the closing statements.
Damian S, 6th
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Your argument is very good and you used a great example to back it up you could have went into more depth about the pirates. You then went onto bullying in your next paragraph and how the victim should fight back and make the bully feel the pain but sometimes that doesn’t work. Then ending of your next paragraph could have been explained more and you can’t really bring in a new topic without explaining.
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Your piece was well written altogether! However, I noticed a few mistakes here and there. There was alot of grammatical errors throughout the argument, and led to me getting distracted from the actual essay. Also, you lacked citations, which is necessary for you to have Ethos, or credibility. You coulod have also developed your topics better. I wish you the best of luck in your writing career.
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Your argument is pretty good and you used great examples throughout the essay. The thing you were missing was your own opinion.
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i think you need to add more variety to your sentences especially the 1st introductory one. You also need to use accurate examples to support your assertions. I advise you to add the other side of the argument to fully develop your idea.
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Carson Wisnoski 4th
Your kept your argument concise and it was well written. Your evidence proved and stated your argument very clearly, I do believe you should have inputted your own opinion in your own words. Overall it was very good and it had a good flow to it.
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Great argument! Your counter argument could have been expanded on a little bit, but other than that it was a very concise essay which allowed me to not get bored and ignore half of it.
Also as several others have already said be sure to add your own opinions and support them with more evidence.
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Great essay. Go more in depth with your counter argument, and expand on your example of the Barbary Pirates, but also bring in another modern and controversial source like how you believe the terrorist group ISIS should be handled to empower your argument and ensnare your reader with interest so they read your paper to the fullest extent of its diction. Awesome paper, just expand a little.
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Your argument was well said, and well backed up as well. Although you lack a strong counter argument, you also lacked your own opinion as the writer into why you think physical force should be allowed in response to physical violence. This heavily alters the audience’s side as you lack to provide them on your input of your point of view such as your thoughts and comments.
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Matthew Crews
6th Period
Good essay, but make sure your sentences are understandable to your readers. “…there are no other ways (insert “to”) handle violent people. also your presidential quote didn’t seem to hit the point or “hook” the audience in. If using a quote that can be taken in many different forms, make sure you thoroughly explain your standpoint and explain why you decided to use that quote.
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Your essay was fantastic although it was not devoid of flaw. Simply put your essay meets all minimal requirements and should be acknowledged as such. For example in your last paragraph I liked the was you conceded your argument in order to strengthen it later with strong evidence. However if you we’re to use more varying evidence such as the civil rights movement in how it was viewed by civil rights activist Macolm X then you would be showing the reader that you are a well versed student on the subject matter. Other than that, great job.
– Allen Shine Mrs. Stenger’s 6th Period
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You did a great job at being concise and to the point, however you left a little to be desired about what you meant when you referenced things, such as when you quoted Thomas Jefferson, the way I read it, that statement worked against you by showing an example of a nonviolent solution to violence, perhaps I read it incorrectly, in the future it would be much easier if you explained how a reference you used acts in your favor. (Michah H. Stenger 3rd)
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Good essay! You were very short and sweet with your claims. Next time you should expand more and be more prepared to give a more conclusive counter argument. Take the examples you gave, expand more on them, and give a few more. You should work on filling your essay up with supporting evidence and being more open with your claims.
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Rex Coca
4th
I would say all together this was a good argument, the one thing i would say you were missing throughout the essay was your own opinion on the matter.
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You had a very short and clear essay with a lot of voice and flare, but you did fall short in some areas. Instead of stating your claim first try stating it at the end of the first paragraph. Go back and start reading your essay from “In the 1800’s, ” then add your first sentence at the end of that paragraph and it sounds better and you managed to introduce the topic first. Also in your conclusion you should have elaborated a bit more at the end instead of just leaving the readers at a dead end. Make your conclusion powerful. Also try bringing up the opposing arguement and prove it wrong to make your argument stronger and better.
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