Do Insane Asylums Dehumanize Their Patients?
By: Marly Aziz
I revised this blog to achieve a stronger and clearer counterclaim and rebuttal by incorporating a statistic, as well as adding more pathos by adding a real life story.
“People need to wake up to the sad story of widespread human rights violations against people with mental disorders in a number of countries” says Dr. Shekhar, director of the World Health Organization’s department of mental health and substance abuses, in a New York Times article. Overcrowded wards consist of poor sanitation and forced treatment. Rights of patients judged to be mentally ill are stripped away by many institutes, and patients are inhumanely treated. From country to country, the picture varies only little.
Others may say that patients are sent off to mental institutions because they may be a danger to themselves and the community. Others also say that this way, the act of being isolated from society, is the best treatment for a mentally ill patient. According to the Treatment Advocacy center that aims to eliminate Barriers the Treatment of Mental Illness : “A Swedish study of 644 individuals with schizophrenia followed for 15 years reported that they committed violent offenses at a rate four times greater than the general population.” I, however, disagree with this idea.
Asylums should keep everyone safe, but they should also treat their patients in the best way possible. Not all individuals with mental illnesses are dangerous. If these patients were initially treated appropriately with the best care provided, there wouldn’t be evidence of dangerous individuals. There should also be limits on what institutions may or may not do, so they don’t abuse their powers and dehumanize their patients to an extent, when it’s unnecessary.
Attention or response to the mentally ill is not a priority in most underdeveloped countries due to the significant amount of other problems the countries have. In the same New York Times article titled “Where Mental Asylums Live on”, the author states that many poor and developing countries warehouse thousands of mentally ill people in dirty and dangerous institutions, which brings up health warnings due to poor sanitation. Due to this, the warehouses only invite both the doctors and patients to more diseases. Thus, hurting them instead of helping. Money that is given to these countries is directed towards serious life threatening diseases such as malaria or AIDS, leaving the mentally ill with little to no treatment as if their diseases weren’t as serious as the others.
The mentally ill are still human beings, but when placed in insane asylums, they’re treated as less than that. In a video from USA Today , Karen Kelly, one of about 10 million of those who suffer from mental illnesses, says mental disorders are invisible diseases. In many cases, those who are mentally ill can look fine on the outside, however on the inside be “a total mess” as she described. She also mentions that those who suffer, never ask for what they receive , yet they still have to cope with it, and it’s a struggle. As human beings, patients still have emotions and feelings, and should be treated as every other human being on this earth, regardless of their mentality.
Institutions rely on physical violence in order to make their patients do what they want. If the patient still doesn’t respond, or do whatever the institute wants him/her to do, they progress on to more violent options. Referring back to the same New York Times article, the author writes a story about a 20 year old schizophrenic patient in Guatemala City, Donald Rodas, who described what he saw when he arrived to Guatemala’s only public, psychiatric hospital: “Those who refuse their medication are beaten and put in the “little room,” a barren isolation cell.” The author also states that long term use of restraints and electroshock without consent is also used on the patients.
People tend to overlook the problem of how unfairly patients with mental illnesses are treated. Is this maybe because that there are bigger problems in the world or that there are children dying and wars occurring. In some people’s eyes, the problems listed are bigger than this, but only think: if the sick person behind the uncanny walls of the mental hospital was you or your loved one, wouldn’t you want society to care?
Bibliography:
“Cost of Not Caring: Nowhere to Go.” USA Today. Gannett, 12 Jan. 2015. Web. 30 Mar. 2015.
“Are People with Serious Mental Illness Who Are Not Being Treated Dangerous? – Backgrounder – Treatment Advocacy Center.” Are People with Serious Mental Illness Who Are Not Being Treated Dangerous? – Backgrounder – Treatment Advocacy Center. N.p., n.d. Web. 30 Mar. 2015.
“CICNI.gov: Mentally Ill Persons in Corrections.” NICIC.gov: Mentally Ill Persons in Corrections. N.p., n.d. Web. 18 Feb. 2015
Your opinion on the matter is a very strong one which gets the reader involved and understand your point better. One error I see is when you mention the name of the article used in paragraph one in paragraph two, maybe next time put the name of the article once its introduced. Overall, its a passionate and thought provoking piece.
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I love the logical research & facts. Even though there wasn’t much feeling in the words, it still made me feel something & I think it’s because you put yourself in the story & spoke the words with clarity & straightforwardness. The things you provided in your well organized paragraphs were great but I felt like there needed to be more persuasion as to WHY they should be treated like normal human beings. You only gave an explanation in your conclusion but there could’ve been more of an explanation throughout the whole story. I do agree with your point of view & so it was easy to be engaged. Keep working hard!
-Nathalie L. Nava/5th period
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Both the logical and factual evidence helped to make your argument more convincing, but I’d love to see using pathos in your argument as it would help it greatly. It sometimes feels as if you don’t care about it due to the fact that elaboration was limited.
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Huge fan of the logos, and hopefully with some pathos this could be a an even greater piece. You used articles rather than facts which shows you have put research into this essay thus showing you are fully engaged to the argument at hand. With a little more counterargument no matter how hard that might be for you, it would fully complete the essay and will not be mistaken for a persuasive essay.
-Sam M. 6th period
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I really liked this essay! You did a great job in presenting and defending your thesis. I also liked how you used pathos, ethos, and logos to support your thesis. The only thing I would consider revising is adding varied sentence structure and word choice, to keep from being repetitive. Other than that, great job.
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Like everyone else, I really enjoyed reading this. Your argument was very well developed and your assertions reflect that you’ve successfully done some in-depth research. They way you incorporated your research into your argument was effective. Although you had an abundance of logical appeals, your argument can be even stronger if you include emotional appeals throughout your paper, not just at the end. While reading your paper, I could definitely tell it was an argument rather than a persuasive. Your lines of reasoning were clear and it would be very difficult to develop a counter argument to go against it.
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Logos are quite important throughout an essay since it demonstrates that you have put much effort in researching, without regard to the fact that you did not incorporate as much pathos and ethos. Also your thesis does not state what side of the argument you are on.
-Yelitza 3rd
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Good essay lots of emotion was obviously put into this however the other side is never a dressed at all if only briefly. The matter of keeping both safe patient and community is mentioned but no solution is offered especially for poor countries who as you said need money for their diseases. Something mentioned on how better sanitized mental institutes can help decrease the spread of disease or something along those lines could have been used saying that if it is kept dirty it is only inviting patients doctors and visitors sickness. Otherwise you touched on everything nicely good job.
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One of the best essays I’ve read so far. It takes a very polarized approach which is fantastic, but leaves most open up to counterarguments. However, your logic is very crisp and thought out and the essay is pleasantly formatted, especially the added footnotes. Great job.
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Great essay! I was really hooked! Your argument was well put together. You successfully incorporated a lot of logos, but I think you should have added some pathos throughout your essay as well. If you would have added an emotional appeal to your essay it would have been flawless.
Angie Villanueva, 6th period
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Your essay was very well developed. I liked how you used articles to defend your arguments , which increased your credibility. I think you may need to add mre emotion to your essay to make the problem seem more urgent. Overall your essay was very impressive.
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Well done essay! Your paper was very full of emotion, which engaged the reader tremendously! I enjoyed reading your paper due to the emotion you used, especially the emotion you used in your closing paragraph it made me really look over the essay again and realize how in depth you went in with your research which gave your paper a lot of credibility. However, you could use a little bit more of emotion to make it known to the audience how terrible the situation is for those that suffer. Very strong writer! Good job.
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This essay caught my attention the second I began to read it. It was well written. You used emotional appeals and really caught the attention of the audience. You also made your argument very clear, it convinced the audience that mental institutes indeed are not what they seem. You gave good examples and evidence, making your essay intriguing. Overall your essay was very interesting.
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truly well written essay but i think it would do you justice if you were to use a more reliable source considering news articles are byiste, single sided, and prejudice they are not the best refrences to use.
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This was a great essay! You incorporated lots of logical appeals but lacked some emotional ones. Improve on that and I’m sure you’ll right the perfect essay!
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Great essay ! It is very well written ! Your argument is very clear on how the asylums are not doing they’re job and are abusing their power. By saying they are dehumanizing the mentally ill is a great way to connect to the audience and connect to their emotions. Great use of logos. Overall i really enjoyed this essay. Good Job!
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Excellent flow between thesis and research, it is easy to see that you did your research, however it seems that you have very little voice in this essay, a large majority is resources, it wasn’t until the conclusion/thesis that you really spoke in your own words rather than presenting a document or quote. (Michah H. Stenger 3rd)
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I absolutely love your essay! I agree that this a issue that does not gain the widespread attention that it deserves. You had a logic perspective and your essay flowed together. You can improve your essay by giving more examples of forced sanitation and how other countries vary when it comes to asylums. You could also talk about the laws regarding mental asylums in different countries. To appeal more to the reader you can also talk about how people with mental illnesses are not being helped in the way that they need and how people generally tend to overlook the issues within a mental asylum. Try to talk about what people generally think of a mental asylum and how their opinion differs from the reality of mental asylums.
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Your stance on this issue is very strong, which is great. The title and content of your piece held my attention the entire time, it was very interesting. Your points were strong as well, and the facts you provided were helpful towards your argument. Nice job.
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This was good essay with lots of evidence from sources. You presented your argument well, but I would have liked to see more about the treatment of mental patients in asylums to further support your claim. Your research that you had was good, but I would have liked to see a little more. You had excellent word choice and the research was good. Try to further develop your counterargument, but your writing was still good.
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